Google Acquires YouTube, Yahoo Gets L.A.S.E.R.

On Monday, the internet powerhouse Google purchased the teen-angst ridden video sharing YouTube network for $1.65 billion. This move, when paired with the company's own video hosting, gives Google a virtual monopoly on broadcasting the foibles of those who mix Diet Coke and Mentos.

Yahoo, however, in an attempt to save face in what was the latest blow to the former search engine giant, announced a plan to broaden its dwindling user base to the rest of the galaxy. The Yahoo L.A.S.E.R. (Last-ditch Alien Search Engine Resource) is set to transmit a "digitized time capsule" into the heavens in the hopes extra-terrestrial life might happen upon it.

Should that happen, executives of the company hope to find the answer to the question: "Do you, uhhh... yahoo?" The message will also have other inquiries encoded within it.

What is the current business climate where you're from?

What are your feelings on stock options?

Would you like to download the latest version of Yahoo Messenger?

Mark this as spam?

How accurate are your weapons?

Could they pinpoint Google's headquarters? (We can get you the address.)

Yahoo hopes to regain some of it's previous market by 2010.