Friday, September 05, 2008

I Got An Email From Joe Biden!!

I am officially now a part of the Washington "in" crowd. Yeah, that's right. Joe Biden and I are chums....

Apparently, when one goes to check out Obama's website to see if one can actually determine where The One stands on any one particular issue, one must enter one's email to access the site.

So, wanting to be the most informed voter I can, I did just that. 24 hours later... (my thoughts are in bold.)

Friend -- (Awww.... warm fuzzies.)

John McCain just accepted the Republican nomination and adopted the most conservative platform in the history of his party. (James Lipton voice: Conservatives... behaving... conservatively. ... Brilliant.)

After days of negative attacks (I know, right? Your pals over at Obama HQ/MSNBC really laid into Palin and her family. Brutal stuff. But hey... this is how the game is played.) -- and no mention of real proposals to fix our economy, get more people health care, or make America safer (Now, now. Don't bite the hand that veep's you. Obama's speech, while typically vague and unfocused, was pretty darn good.) -- the party that brought you eight years of disastrous policies is asking for four more. (OH! .... You were talking about the RNC? My bad....)

Well, not if we have anything to say about it. (And from what I've heard, you don't.)

Across this nation, people like you have joined this movement because you believe that we are better than the past eight years. (Actually, I "joined" this "movement" because I've been trying to figure out what your buddy is going to do about... anything.) And now that we are entering the final stretch, it's going to take all of us to bring the change we need. (Can't argue with ya' there, Joey. This election is the Dems' to loose, and have you seen the poll numbers??)

Step up at this crucial moment and make a donation of $5 or more to change our country. (Uhhh, no. Just bought a couple McCain/Palin bumper stickers, so I'm tapped out.)

After the last eight years, it's up to you to keep America's promise alive. (Unlike third tri-mester babies.... Those are never promising. And I wasn't aware the promise was dead. In need of some anti-biotics, maybe. But you're talking like it's on life-support.)

How can John McCain pull us out of the deep hole we're in when he voted with George Bush more than 90% of the time?

The American people deserve more than a 10% chance at change. (It's only been a week and you guys have thoroughly bludgeoned this percentage sound-bite to death. I'm ready for a change please.)

No matter what McCain says, we can't bring about change by relying on the same ideas that have failed us for the last eight years. (Odd, considering that if you look at the speeches your boss and McCain gave, they bear some striking similarities. Some passages almost word for word.)

Show the McCain campaign that people coming together, giving what they can afford, and working toward a common purpose will transform this country. (I'd love to join in that gathering, but I believe I'll be outside checking the pressure on my tires while simultaneously stemming the rising waters and wrapping the world in gauze so as to heal the earth.)

Change begins with you. Please make a donation of $5 or more now: (See above bumper stickers.)

Thanks for everything you're doing, (You're welcome.)

Joe (Why didn't the Big O send this? Is he out getting gauze too?)

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