Saturday, April 14, 2007

Let's See If I Remember How To Work This Thing....

Ok, so the break was a little longer than I originally anticipated.

The move itself went well, aside from the couple snow squalls we had to drive through. The subsequent month and a half of unemployment, however, was not quite as entertaining. It plays havoc with ones psyche. You start getting depressed. You drink the previous tenant's (who also happens to be the landlord) stash of liquor. Sleep a lot. It's hard. After learning the recent criteria for "life-scarring", I'm confident in saying that the entire ordeal of being without a job has indeed scarred me for life.

But then I got a job. It's in sales. Something I've never done before, but given my borderline desperation, I was willing to try anything. Thankfully, it worked out. Or at least it was working out, up until I called one of my more endowed female co-workers a "big-tittied bitch". I immediately realized my misstep and began apologizing profusely, but to no avail. Despite the comment being made in private, it was still looked at as white-on-white hate-speech which degraded women, something the company would not tolerate, and I was fired.

Ironically, a similar situation happened to Don Imus. After watching that whole circus, I got an idea. I called up the boss who fired me, apologized again, and then asked if it would be possible for me to return to work in black-face. This would change the situation entirely. Instead of dealing with an inexcusable instance of degrading women, we could now look at it as just another Redman video.

He agreed, so I'm off to get some shoe-polish.

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