Dear Patriots Fans

You're douches.

USDA Grade A cock-sucking assholes.

I understand the rivalry between you and the Jets, but seriously. You're 13-0. Undefeated. There is a way to take pride in that fact with dignity instead of resorting childish games that make light of your team's underhanded cheating.

Trust me. I could think of more than my fair share of signs to jot down here, but I won't.

I will, however, be watching and praying for your downfall tomorrow.